can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I am available for nakedness
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
