I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
