why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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