its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
