You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
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