i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
