I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
