the condom got lost in my hair
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
