Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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