i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
