I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
