I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
