I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Randomize
