I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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