Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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