Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
