Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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