Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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