I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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