It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
