dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
