so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
