it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
