You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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