What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
