I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
