umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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