im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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