I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
as a side note pls kill me
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