I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
