I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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