Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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