therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
