Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
you made out with another girl for some wings
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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