He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
