paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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