that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
