I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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