What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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