um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My ass is underappreciated
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Shame - the story of my life.
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