you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
