I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
