Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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