What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
two words...techno handjob
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
