dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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