My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Randomize
