need another drink. this is the easiest way
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
