I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
did i walk over a car last night?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
that may or may not have been my penis.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
