Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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