We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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