Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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