It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
